Being in a relationship could mean a lot of things. However, what it surely doesn’t mean is the attitude that one “must” sacrifice, or compromise to keep it going. Well, of course there will be times when compromises will have to be made. That, however should not become the “premise” of a relationship. When do you know that you’ve tried hard enough, and that you have had enough? When do you know you must let go of the cliff you have been clinging to? Watch out for five telling signs of a toxic relationship. Recognize a relationship which is far from healthy and you may actually be better off without your significant other.
Lack of Communication
There is a breakdown of communication. You find yourself unable to reach out to your significant other even if you may want to share things. Along with it come the doubts about whether you are feeling comfortable and valued. As a result, you prefer not sharing things that are happening in your life. These may or may not relate to your relationship. There is more comfort and peace in not communicating, than otherwise. Communication often results in misunderstandings or arguments which leave you feeling like you are best keeping to yourself.
Various forms/degrees of self-harm
This is one of the most urgent signs which you should never ignore. Self-harm is not always very obvious in its manifestations, for example, it isn’t necessary that it would always be a form of violence against self. Signs like blaming oneself, subtle or obvious threats of self-harm (threatening to harm oneself for penance, repentance, and the like), are all signs to notice and take care of. In many cases, self-harm is used as a weapon of manipulation and to stop the other partner from walking out.
You don’t feel like yourself
You feel weighed down and de-motivated. Very often, you are unable to remember what you were like before you got into this relationship. Mostly unhappy, you fail to understand the reason for your unhappiness and distress. Your productivity is hampered and so are your other relationships. You find yourself withdrawing into a world of your own, where you’d rather be left alone.
It is mostly about the past
It is all about the first time you met, your first date, your first holiday together. And all about you wishing things could be the way they were once upon a time and you looking for ways to recreate those moments. You stop living in the present or looking forward to the future. Your relationship only seems like a shadow of its past.
You feel “stuck” or “trapped”
Another sign that we would say is a rather dire signal that it is time for you to move on. If you start feeling like you are ‘stuck’ and that there can be no way out, it is a very dangerous thing. We would strongly advise you to talk to friends or family you are close to, or even seek professional help. The moment you start feeling you are trapped, realize that every additional second you spend in the relationship is not out of love, but out of fear. Where there is fear, there can be no love.
Remember that no matter how much you read, or listen to the advice other people give you, the only advice you will ultimately heed is the one that comes from within. Very often we start confusing pity with love and feel like one will compensate for the other. Needless to say, that is seldom the case. Being in a relationship with someone should make you want to celebrate every day, should make you creative, happy and joyful. Do remember that it is alright to notice these signs in a relationship, and figure out that the relationship is dysfunctional (because it is better late than never), because that is how we all grow and learn. It is only when we let go of experiences that pull us down that we free space for better, positive experiences that uplift us.
Only someone who is happy and is fill with love can contribute love to another being. You can only fill a glass from a filled jar!